(no subject)

I feel like Sane Courtney needs to give Stressed Out with Papers/Needs a lot of Sleep/Should Really go to Bed Earlier Courtney some advice. Like delete all dangerous numbers from cell phone. Then forget you already have said numbers memorized. Pray to god no odd boys from back home (well one odd boy) send(s) you text messages (it always happens when there's papers to do). Get more sleep. Drink less coffee and still get all your work done. Do not watch 4 episodes of Desperate Housewives. Amongst others.

It's 4:01AM. How that happened, well, I have a few ideas.

I wrote 1 sentence of my paper. I think that calls for a break.

Last night Petra and I went with a group of kids from Sarah Lawrence to the City with Midnight Run, which goes to New York City late at night to hand out bagged lunches, water, fruit and clothing. It was a good experience and I had a nice time. We got to talk to a lot of people.

It was an interesting experience, though perhaps hard to stomach when all is said and done. When I lived and went to school in the city, I would see homeless people on a daily basis at all hours of the day and night. Sometimes I felt scared or like I didn't want to look them in the eye. I know this is horrible for me to say, but I think it has a lot to do with a being a woman. I have trouble looking men in the eye on the street because I fear they will say something or bother me. It's sick but true.

My point is I lived there for awhile and I never did anything to help the homeless community. I would smile sometimes but I never talked to anyone. I'll admit I did offer food to homeless people. Sometimes I gave them change, but mostly I gave my money to homeless organizations fundraising on the streets.

The problem is, why is it acceptable to do this and then go with an organization when I'm living outside of the city in the suburbs? Why do people ignore the homeless everyday but then suddenly they want to volunteer at soup kitches or Midnight Run? I understand the importance of these organization, but I wonder what there is to do on an everyday basis.

I guess people feel safer with a group of people, with a car and having the homeless know that they are with an organization aimed at helping them as opposed to just an individual walking around. It's just odd to me, going in the city, helping the homeless and then coming back to my nice little school in this nice little town. Is that hypocritical? I'd like to think not, but I'm not sure.

There's a lot of guilt, I think, amongst white middle class people. And then there's also people who couldn't care less about the homeless. I guess it just all depends on the person and their social setting.


In other news, tonight is Sleaze Ball. I am tres excited.